If you’ve been a long-time follower of my blog, this post might feel a little familiar … because you’ve seen it before. The Deja Vu blog hop is a way for us to re-share one of our favorite posts, so make sure you go to the other participating blogs to discover some great posts! Because I’m currently in the query trenches, I thought this post would be a good one to share…
Why a Query is Like a Love Note to the Most Popular Guy in High School:
Dear hot guy who sits in front of me in Algebra I {agent},
I know you have no idea who I am. I know that you have girls {authors} fawning over your every move {Twitter update}, and that you could get any one of them.
Pick me.
I may wear braces {have a few spelling errors}, and I may still be cursed with acne {the old version of Word}, but I swear that if you were to really think about it, I would be the best girlfriend {client} you ever had. For example:
- I will do
your homework{my edits} - I won’t
flirt with other football players{find another agent behind your back} - I’m not
as needy as the cheerleader you’re currently dating{going to email you five times a day — only twice … okay, three times, tops.} - I won’t take forever
to get ready{on revisions}
I have memorized every curve of your face {blog post you’ve ever written}, and I think I’ve loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you {your site}. One day I would love to meet your parents {editor friends}. Do you like me too? Check yes or no {send a form rejection}.Eternally your love {Thank you for your time and consideration},
Tiana Smith
Tiana Smith
Beth Ellyn Summer says
December 19, 2014 at 3:12 pmThis. Was. AWESOME. Hahaha. And so true. I've always felt finding the right agent wasn't unlike finding the right bf, and honestly, every little word in the query always felt like trying to get up the courage to text or email a crush. I love it. I think querying this time of year is brutal, (anytime, really) and I hope you get a ton of requests and offers fast. You deserve it! <3
tianasmith says
December 19, 2014 at 3:15 pm*Hugs* Thanks 🙂
Donna Smith says
December 19, 2014 at 4:39 pmLoved this! Glad you reposted it!
DL Hammons says
December 19, 2014 at 5:43 pmThis is even better the second time around. I LOVE this!! Perfect choice for Deja Vu. Thank you for taking the time to re-share it with us. 🙂
Chris Fries says
December 19, 2014 at 6:55 pmLOL! I totally love this, Tiana! Absolutely brilliant. 🙂
And you could probably keep extending the metaphor, too — what about the first date, the first kiss, the first… *ahem*.. and then getting dumped afterwards? 😉
Glad you revived this for the Deja Vu! Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!
tianasmith says
December 19, 2014 at 8:24 pmChris – ha ha ha ha. Ah man, all true!
Elizabeth Hein says
December 19, 2014 at 9:31 pmI love this! Agents do feel like high school crushes at times.
Noelle Granger says
December 19, 2014 at 9:46 pmLoved this! So clever and if I ever get an agent (ha!) I'll remember this…
Kimber Leigh Wheaton says
December 19, 2014 at 10:10 pmLove it! I'd ask for a partial based on the creativity in that letter alone 🙂
tianasmith says
December 19, 2014 at 10:12 pmKimber Leigh – Ha! Thanks 🙂
Jemima Pett says
December 19, 2014 at 10:33 pmGenius 😀
Colin Smith says
December 19, 2014 at 11:18 pmVery cute, and so true! Back in February, I wrote a flash fiction piece for a Valentine's Day challenge that played on a similar theme (how getting an agent is like dating). If you're interested, here's the link: http://www.colindsmith.com/blog/2014/02/21/walk-the-plank-the-love-story-edition/.
All the best with your querying, Tiana! 🙂
Kevyn Knox says
December 19, 2014 at 11:54 pmI never did go to the prom with the girl I had the biggest crush on back in school (nor did I ever ask her to said prom) and now today, as a writer, I have no agent either. Seems things are going rather steadily in my life. Nice post. Keep on keepin' on. See ya 'round the web. All Things Kevyn
Connie Keller says
December 20, 2014 at 12:30 amLoved it. I'm working on a query and this was the perfect antidote to query madness. Thanks!
dolorah says
December 20, 2014 at 2:28 amExactly!!!
LD Masterson says
December 20, 2014 at 6:26 amThat was great. And I didn't see it the first time so I'm very glad you re-posted it.
Laurel Garver says
December 20, 2014 at 2:07 pmFunny, and a pretty apt comparison. Consider that the flip side of this is also true–it's possible to develop "crushes" on those who would be "bad boyfriends"–who never call, never take you(r manuscript) out on dates (with editors), etc. Best wishes for finding a true match made in heaven. 🙂
Chippyminton13 says
December 20, 2014 at 4:42 pmVery true 🙂
thanks for visiting my blog and sorry for showing up to the blogfest a day late.
Chippy
Arlee Bird says
December 20, 2014 at 5:00 pmIt's all about salesmanship and developing the ideal sales pitch. Whether it be love or business, marketing is at the root of everything we do.
Lee
Tossing It Out
Marcy says
December 20, 2014 at 8:16 pmHa, very fun post! And thanks for making me aware of this blog hop, even though it meant I just lost a morning to wandering through my archives… since I'd never participated before, I broke the rules and chose an older post, not from the last year. So it took me longer to decide. I guess that's my fault…
Sherry Ellis says
December 21, 2014 at 1:05 amThat was great! Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
angelsbark says
December 21, 2014 at 4:02 amThis is superbly clever and just downright awesome!!! LOVE IT!! Glad to have found you via the Deja Vu Blogfest. Hope you're having as much fun as I am with it…
Happy Holidays.
michele at Angels Bark
Empty Nest Insider says
December 21, 2014 at 10:08 amThis was so creative and fun to read! Great lines about "doing your homework," and not being "as needy!" Though I'm not an agent, I would be happy to adopt you! Happy Holidays, Tiana!
Julie
Kate Larkindale says
December 21, 2014 at 5:41 pmOh yes… That is definitely true.
Kristin Smith says
December 22, 2014 at 3:08 pmOh my gosh! This was the best post EVER! I'm in the query trenches with my YA novel right now too, so I feel your pain. I've never thought of it like a love letter to the hot guy in my math class, but you are so right on! Hilarious! Querying madwomen UNITE! 🙂
So great to have found you through the bloghop.I look forward to visiting you more often. 🙂
Cynthia says
December 23, 2014 at 6:08 amHello from Deja Vu. How funny! I haven't queried much yet but hearing about other writers who go through that…I totally get this.
Sherry Ellis says
December 23, 2014 at 11:01 pmThat's hilarious! I think you've summed it up pretty well, though!
Margo Berendsen says
December 24, 2014 at 6:35 pmThis cracked me up! Esp. loved this part "One day I would love to meet your parents {editor friends}" GRIN! Thanks for reposting! I can relates since i'm in the query trenches, too. Still haven't got the nerve up to query my crush agent 😉
Suzanne Sapsed says
December 28, 2014 at 10:14 pmSo, plagiarism's okay right? Cos I so want to send the original of that letter off to an agent when the time comes – would either work or I might end up with an injunction! x
tianasmith says
December 28, 2014 at 10:17 pmSuzanne – if it worked, you'd totally have to give me credit 😉 (and, you know, a referral…)
Leandra Wallace says
December 29, 2014 at 5:36 amI'm so glad I'm not the only one with an outdated Word! Lol! Great letter!
Kari Marie White says
January 5, 2015 at 6:30 amThis one was new to me! I love this post. Your humor and wit are one of the reasons why I enjoy your blog so much.
Julie Dao says
January 5, 2015 at 3:33 pmI remember this post!! It rings with truth! 😉
Kathryn McKendry says
January 6, 2015 at 3:16 amI love this post! I'm glad I found your blog. Looking forward to more fun future posts!
David P. King says
January 7, 2015 at 4:24 pmI totally missed out on this. I was never very good at love letters, so that might explain why it took me a super long time. Oh, and a very Happy New Year to you, Tiana! 🙂
Crystal Collier says
January 7, 2015 at 6:48 pmIt's so totally true! I love it! Querying…so not my favorite thing in the world. =)
Caryn Caldwell says
January 9, 2015 at 11:29 pmHa ha! I LOVE this!!!! So perfect! Am going to share the link with some friends of mine who are currently querying, since I think they'll love it, too. So glad you reposted it!
Shelley Sly says
January 20, 2015 at 2:47 pmThis is fantastic! Good luck querying — all you need is one Yes!
Morgan says
January 20, 2015 at 11:58 pmHahahaha!!!! HOW DID I MISS THIS?!?!?!?
Oh Tiana. How much I adore you. I'm so glad I've met you. You really are one of my most favorite people EVER. And this was hilarious. You're so talented. You really are. <3
Lindsay Sanchez says
June 22, 2015 at 4:38 pmLove this post. So funny and totally true, probably why I'm still procrastinating on my revisions… love your blog!