Dear Agent Snookums,
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the world was taken over by evil robot alien overlords? In my 250,000 word unfinished sci-fi/chick-lit/mystery/steam-punk/and-every-genre-under-the-sun fiction novel, I answer this burning question and so much more.
Gregory Paxton, a middle age man with absolutely nothing interesting about him whatsoever undertakes the adventure of his life when he randomly and inexplicably uncovers a century old secret hidden by criminal masterminds in league with aliens.
Told in ten alternating viewpoints and tenses (one of which is a time travelling dog), my novel, THE DAY WE ALL DIED, is sure to appeal to fans of Harry Potter, Twilight, The DaVinci Code and Pride & Prejudice–though it is completely one of a kind and nothing out there is quite like it. I have already contacted the people at Oprah to be included on her 2010 holiday recommendations list. I am only interested in agents who can get me a six figure deal, so please contact me with a list of your credentials.
I wrote this book because I grew weary of all the tiresome and pedantic novels being published today. I have a lot of experience in the aliens field, as I myself was abducted by aliens when I was a child. Though I am not published, I have been writing since I was six years old.
I have attached a mock up of my cover design that I made using Paint, and if you are interested in hearing the soundtrack, please visit the website that my third grade cousin made. Here is the link. This is the first book in the series, and I have already written the next sixteen. My mother has read the book, and she says it is the best thing since sliced bread and is sure to be an instant bestseller.
Last month I queried such-and-such agent, and though she passed, the said that “it certainly is different …” I believe this is great praise, and would be very interested to hear what you think. I will drop by your office at 4:37 pm on Monday next, and we can discuss it further. I look forward to hearing from you.
Tiana Smith’s Evil Twin
25 Made Up Lane
Blog: (automatically plays music and hasn’t been updated in a year)
This e-mail, including any attachments, may be intended solely for the personal and confidential use of the sender and recipient(s) named above (even though I cc’d EVERY LITERARY AGENT ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET). This message may include advisory, consultative and/or deliberative material and, as such, would be privileged and confidential and not a public document. Also, all of my work is under a copyright, and if you steal my idea, I will persecute you to the fullest extent of the law.