Step 3: Go to YouTube and watch videos of cats.
Step 4: Go back to your document and delete everything you have written thus far.
Step 5: Go to Twitter. Spend two hours scrolling.
Step 6: Open document again. Write another sentence, but this time, experiment with all the pretty fonts and colors.
Step 7: Search online for pictures that look like your main character. Create a fake cover for your book using Paint.
Step 8: Email writer friends and complain about how hard it is to write a novel.
Step 9: Take a nap.
Step 10: Create a playlist for your novel to get in the right mood.
Step 11: Do the dishes.
Step 12: Glare at your computer, but otherwise ignore it for the rest of the evening.
Step 13: Go to sleep and dream about what it would be like to be a famous author.
Step 14: Repeat steps 1-13 until you have a passable novel. Throw in some editing for good measure.
Step 15: Celebrate it’s completion by saying hello to the family you have ignored for several months. Beg their forgiveness and promise to never write again.
Step 16: Open up a fresh document the next day. Do it all again.